Yep... You Can Already Guess What Happened

 I will keep this short. I was working on another Matthew Hayden album following the completion of "In the Shadow of a Former Self" in October of 2021. And wouldn't you know it? I somehow got heart broken AGAIN!!! 

Essentially, the woman (who will go unnamed here) and I had been communicating for a good chunk of 2022. I attended her shows and plays. I brought her flowers once and a nice, handwritten card the next time. 

One day in September, out of the blue, I receive a text message from her in which she talks about how nobly I pursued her and honored her during my courting of her. (Note to Future Self: when someone begins by lifting you up and complimenting you, watch out for the nosedive the conversation is fixing to take.) But then, as it almost always seems to happen to me, she wrote "I have been seeing a guy and we are getting pretty serious. I want to reiterate that I value our friendship greatly but... I still see you as a friend. Also, in light of what happened to Matt Chandler, I think we should limit our familiar texting and DMs." 

Wait, so I am a friend but you want to limit us talking? Fine. Whatever. I hope you made the right decision. I replied back and said "I wish you the best in your future endeavors." And in the past, I would have said that untruthfully, but this time? I meant it. I hope life goes so well for you. But I hope you also remember how poorly you treated me and how long you made me wait on you. 

Based off of this communication alone, I wrote most of my newest album "Thank You for Your Tolerance of All My Idiosyncracies". I wanted it to be an album that sheds light on hope but also pulls it back and says "But don't get too hopeful. Come back to reality quickly." I quickly unfollowed many of the people I used to follow on Instagram. I didn't want to become distracted and fall into a faux sense of hope with one of them. 

Anyway, that's it. I finished the album. I really like it. Only eight original songs but I included two covers in there. 

I am not happy right now. But that's okay. I have learned that happiness comes and goes like the winds or the tides. Rather, I would say I am at peace with the situation. Which I suppose, is the most positive I can be at a time like this.